无法呼吸,无法入睡,甚至无法再次笑 - 你知道这种感觉。当一个关系分开时,它可以觉得自己的世界与它分开。分手可以采取一个完美的理智,快乐的人,让他们变成一个悲伤的颤抖。在我的练习中,我看到了很多这些转变。我每周至少得到几个新客户,他们因难以分手而被创伤,他们决定寻求治疗首次。

拿我们的测验:我有焦虑吗?

188体育平台app焦虑症在美国影响了约4000万人 - 近20% - 所以,如果你有焦虑,你并不孤单。回答几个问题,以了解更多问题。

For people in their early twenties, the breakup may be the end of their first significant, meaningful, adult relationship. For those who are bit older, who may have already experienced that first ever heartbreak, each break up after that can seem like getting stuck in an interminable search for the right partner. Either way, break ups can be painful.

In fact, a breakup can be the most difficult thing a person has ever experienced. Break ups touch so many issues at once: sadness, security, self-esteem, role identity, and even性欲。悲伤和anxietycan amount to feelings of panic, obsession, and depression. A person with强迫症倾向可能突然觉得需要检查他们的前任Facebook页面不停地, while a more depressive person might ruminate on self-doubt. Whether or not a person reaches a clinical level, the feelings can be very intense.

If the aftermath of a breakup begins to affect your mental health and general well-being, it's time to do something about it. But how do you go from crying into your pillow to riding off into the sunset with a fresh perspective? Getting past a breakup involves small and large steps - from a simple task you can do right now to more intangible actions that require some soul-searching. I hope the following tips help guide you past the breaking point.

1.学习新的语言或技能

Do you see your ex's name everywhere you look? Do the smallest things, even the most mundane objects, remind you of him or her? This happens because so much of our experiences are linked with that other person. However, when we learn new things, we get to have brand new experiences that are completely our own. Learning a new language, for example, gives your mind too much of a cognitive load to continue being focused on memories of an ex. Open yourself up to new languages, people, and cultures. Make the world feel a little bigger.

即使学习新语言不适合您,也要考虑您想要接受的其他事情,如陶器类,品酒俱乐部或健身房会员。选择持续六周的课程,以便它建立在您的日程中,并为您提供随着时间的推移了解新人的机会。当我们学习新事物时,我们达到了进步和自我改善,抵消了有时伴随分手的拒绝或失败的虚假感受。

2.投资你的幸福

这是培养你的身体以及你的思想,并从事情感和情绪身体自我护理。Human beings have a finite amount of self-discipline (this is partly why you might be able to sing and waltz, but not simultaneously). If you're using a lot of self-discipline to manage urges to contact your ex, it's okay to splurge a little on yourself. However, it's important to make sure that the things you're spending money on will contribute to your self-care. Buy a ticket out of town to visit a good friend or invest in that yoga package. But don't blow your money on alcohol, unhealthy foods, or even worse, illegal substances, all of which may temporarily lift your spirits but leave you feeling worse in the long run.

3.记得为什么它没有成功

有时,当他们不在身边时,exes突然似乎更具吸引力。如果您遇到了玫瑰色后视镜的情况,请保留最高五个原因的列表,如果您的前任,您会更好地关闭并根据需要进行审核。有些人在他们的钱包或手机上保持清单的副本,所以它总是方便。其他人将列表放在他们的浴室镜子上或其他一些地方,他们会定期看到它,而无需记得寻找它。如果您想让100%肯定您记得该关系必须结束的原因,您甚至可能会做两者。

4.。Find a Breakup Buddy

如果您有困难管理急促和冲动,请询问good friend成为你的'屁股伙伴'。每当您突然需要联系您的前方,此人将保持您的负责任。因此,而不是发送“我想念你”在晚上迟到的文字,而是打电话给你的分手伙伴,谁会鼓励克制并帮助你自己居住。选择一个有信任的朋友,患者和强大的沟通者。

5.制作分手混合

音乐是一个强大的工具;它可以影响你的心情,影响你的思想过程,激发你的身体。制作伟大的分手歌曲的特殊组合,以保持您的动力。向朋友询问音乐,帮助他们通过分手或孤独的时间。选择让您感到赋予权力的歌曲(例如,“我会生存”)而不是那些激励你在痛苦中沉溺的人(例如“)。将手机设置为醒来,醒来,混合或使用健身房的混合或每日通勤。很多次,悲伤和压力的感觉都储存在体内。释放它们的更好方法是通过通过您的一天来到解决您想要发布的情绪的音乐?

6.获得按摩

没有真的,它有效。经过分手时,身体会生理反应;它已变得如此常用于积极的物理触摸,突然没有它会感到难以置信。由于浪漫伴侣的身体亲密关系,我们实际上经历了Cortisol,压力激素和减少的多巴胺。无论您和您的前任是否有激情的性生活,甚至只是一个舒适,手持式,手臂挤压模式都是如此。获得某种形式的健康触感,如amassage, can help bridge the gap.

7.重新评估自己和你的关系目标

Breakups can be a good time for self-reflection. Take a look at the kind of partner you want to be and commit to engaging in activities that will help you become that person. For example, if you would like to become more present and patient, try practicing mindfulness. If self-awareness and empathy are issues for you, you might consider keeping a journal or finding a therapist to help you work through these things before jumping into another relationship. If you have issues with financial or physical fitness, do whatever you need to start taking better care of yourself so that you will be more confident in dating.

Be sure to take some time to evaluate your relationships goals. If you know you have a tendency to choose people who are hurtful or undermine you, make sure to address this before, and during, your efforts to start dating anew. Make a list of red flags you have ignored in the past and commit to watching out for these signs moving forward. Read self-help books on topics like codependency, self-esteem, and healthy boundaries. Get a trusted friend, family member, or therapist to help you sort through new dating experiences and watch for signs of trouble.

You Can Find Happiness Again!

情绪不适并不总是意味着出了问题。在关系结束时痛苦经常认为你让自己变得脆弱,你向另一个人打开了自己,你能够联系。如果符合意识和意图,分手实际上可以帮助您学会选择更好的合作伙伴并在未来更好地重新定义您的界限。

通常,在完全承认的情况下,分手的痛苦结束,即使这些关系的部分很大,它并不意味着结束关系是一个错误。当你想念你的大学日时,你会把它作为一个争论,毕业和继续前进并不意味着吗?过去的关系也是学习和生长所必需的。我希望你能借此自我发现,增长和情感进步的机会,以便你能找到幸福!

当所有人都说和完成时,迈克喜欢Syd,XXOO。

为你推荐

Katherine J. Gold,M.D.,M.S.W.,M.S.。
米歇尔罗森哈尔
Abigail Powers Lott, Ph.D.
米歇尔罗森哈尔
赫尔曼R. Lukow II,Ph.D.

注释

原始出版日期:

Updated: February 01, 2017